Are You An Addict?

Yep.

Fear not, I am too.

To work, to Linkedin, to checking my phone. To the football results (ahhhhhhh, where have they gone??), to ‘Sunderland ‘Til I Die’ and ‘The Last Dance’ and other Netfixes (see what I did there?!). To the same worries about money or this or that. And myriad other ways too.

We need not be beholden.

There’s a well known formula to carve out a little freedom from these everyday demons.

Think of them as stepping stones to heaven. And good times.

Step One. Admit it: own your addiction. Put your hands up. Say, yep, me too. Whether its checking phones or being busy or worrying about friends and what they do or don’t say. Or whatever your Netfix of choice. These are addictions. Admit it.

2 Believe in something bigger than you. And this need not be a big guy in the clouds. That’s up to you. Whatever shape and flavour, it’s helpful to put things in perspective. I’m looking into my garden. Looking back are plants and flowers abundant with life. A whole lot of growth and change over which I have no control. It is bigger than me. The tree I’m looking at has been looking at this house for over 100 years. That’s 1-0 something else.

3 Trust that bigger nature. She’s got your back. Is on your side - turn to her, put your problems in her basket, let her deal with your shit for a while. She’s happy to. And good at it.

4. Make a list. A big one. Of all that is good and bad in your life, as you see it. Include all the gory details. For me? I’m creative and energetic and loving. And controlling and stroppy and anxious. And many other things too. Don’t scimp on the good. Or the bad. You are likely abundant in both. Cos you’re human, innit.

5. Own your shit. Share it with others. Maybe with your god or mother nature. Maybe a friend. Your business partner. Your dog.

6. See no. 3 above. Work with your super grandma or god, whichever flavour you opted for, to grow bigger than all the shit noted in 4 and owned in 5.

7. This is where the shit gets real. Ask your super grandma or mother nature or god to put aside your shit bits, to look after them for you. No need to carry them around forever. She can help with this. Just ask for permission, to put them down, to put them aside, to place them in her lap.

8. Our work and life is littered with people we’ve inadvertantly harmed. A little sleight here, an unkindness there. List them all, be they companies, team mates, employees, friends, lovers, competitors, clients. Be willing to make amends to them all.

9. Reach out, actually make amends. One at a time, if need be. Go slow, go fast, whatever feels right. But start.

10. Unlike No 2, we’re not gods, we’re human. So we slip, we slide. Keep a rolling tab. And when we’re wrong, admit it.

11. Meditate, man, it’s good. On a cushion. In a church. In a forest, under trees. Whatever, wherever.

12. And when you feel the benefit of the journey, share it. As I am to you.