Your Shit Is A Great Fertiliser.

I woke up worrying, edgy, frustrated, full of doubt.

Am I doing this right, or that? Concerned by the decisions I’m making. Am I doing enough, too much, or not enough of the right things (or wrong things)?

These worries and doubts are in search of a home. I believe they’re caused by this or that. That if I change this or that the worries will go away.

Of course they won’t. The worries, doubts, fears, concerns are the stuff of my life. They might travel in on a vehicle which looks like a problem at home or work, or with friends or colleagues, but really they’re just doubts, concerns. They care less about the vehicle they travel in on. But travel they will continue to do.

My response when confronted by the morning fog of doubt is to fix. Do more of this, less of that. Yet these adjustments somehow lead to more frustration. More doubt.

Maybe the solution is less fixing and more wallowing. Really wallow in the doubts. Marinade in them. Let them soak into your pores. Let them nourish all the little cracks of your person, the ‘in betweens’. In really marinading, these doubts, these worries, these ideas can nourish you. They’re like an organic fertiliser super charging new growth.

Left to its own ‘human-less’ interventions, nature rebounds fully and completely within 18 months. That means if we meddle less in our eco systems with our nature, nature will be free to bounce back. And some. Because that is what it does. Nature is constantly giving life, creating life, squeezing it out of the cracks.

When we meddle, fix, adjust, we get in the way.

Step out of the way to unleash the growth.

Sure, I know, easier said than done. But maybe it starts with a simple reminder that left to its own devices, nature can deliver all the growth and change we could ever conceive of. And more. That it’s our fixing and meddling and planning which can get in the way.

Start by seeing the doubts for what they are, doubts. They’re less about this or that issue. First and foremost, they’re doubts. See how it feels. Marinade in them.

ben johnson